Real Simple Mama

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Tag: talk

How to Talk to Your Child When They Make a Bad Choice

Your child is going to screw up. It’s inevitable, and that’s ok. But talking to a child when they’re in the wrong can either be productive and encouraging, or difficult and counterproductive. This is an attachment parenting-style strategy of how to talk to your child when they make a bad choice. Continue reading

A Mama’s Instinct

Us mamas have doubt coming at us from all sides: everyone from our well-meaning mother in law to the old lady at the grocery store fuel that little voice in our heads which constantly says “You’re screwing up your kid.” But I’m here to give you a breath of fresh air, and to remind you that a mama’s instinct is pretty damn amazing. Continue reading

Teaching My Child with Natural Consequences: The AP Alternative to Punishment

My son is an amazing child: he’s considerate, kind, and sensitive. And I knew early on that I would never spank or hit him. But he’s at an age where we need to have an effective, consistent way to correct him and teach him.

I’m here to tell you: attachment parenting does not mean that you let your kids do whatever the hell they want. We have high expectations, we are consistent, and we mean what we say. But how we discipline our kids may look quite different from what you’re used to. And let me say, it works beautifully. Continue reading

How To Talk To Your Kids

Do you have an open relationship with your kids? Do you feel that you have mutual trust and respect? Are you comfortable talking to your kids about anything, and you feel that they would come to you if they had a problem or a question?

I think that most parents really have their heart in the right place, and they want to do well for their children. My nine years of teaching experience, from kindergarten through high school seniors, plus my experience as a parent, have proved this to me. But with all of the hundreds of students I have taught, I have also dealt with hundreds of parents. And I have noticed some recurring behaviors in regards to the students who felt a disconnect with their parents.

Many parents are just in survival mode. They take what their children say at face value, and have so many other stressors and distractions in life that it is easy for them to miss what is going on in their child’s world. Their child feels ignored, unimportant, or like their parents would not understand.

The other thing which I frequently observe is the parents who just do not know what to say to their kids. They hesitate to have discussions about difficult or mature topics, like puberty or sex. Since it makes the parent uncomfortable, they refrain from saying anything at all.

The problem is, at one point or another your child is going to have some troubles or some questions. If you do not have that “open door” rapport with your child, they will find their comfort or their answers elsewhere.

I do not think I need to say more than that.

I’ll give you a little bit of tough love: you are a parent. So you need to be a parent. For the sake of your child – their safety, their happiness – I do not care if it makes you uncomfortable. Your child needs to see that you love them and you are making the effort.

So let’s get to it: here are the five tips I’ve got to help you start building that open, honest communication with your kid. Continue reading

Teaching My Kids To Have A Positive Body Image

Having a baby is a glorious, life-changing event which leaves you breathless and teary-eyed. Your body has done something miraculous! You’ve housed another human being, growing them from a cluster of a few cells to a living breathing person. That’s pretty damn cool, Mama.

But then you look in the mirror, try to wear your favorite pre-pregnancy jeans or think about swim season. Your hair starts falling out and – what the hell? – you have acne all over again. The cost of making this beautiful little life just took an insane toll on your body, and potentially, on your self esteem.

It’s totally normal to have a woe-is-me phase, but here are some things to keep in mind as your children grow and look to your example. Continue reading

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