A Letter to My Daughter on Her Third Birthday

My daughter, my second and my last child, is turning three. As is tradition, I’m writing a letter which will go in her journal. She’s a brilliant, creative, hilarious, and fiery little soul and I adore her. Please read my letter to my daughter on her third birthday.

“Though she be but little, she is fierce.”

-William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night’s Dream

Dear Sweet Pea,

This quote has been with you since you were born. It was on the first onesie you ever wore, it follows you wherever you go, it’s on your birthday shirt. It describes you perfectly, my Tiny Berry.

You have been amazing me since you were born, this brave little girl who is so fierce and in such a tiny package. From your crazy birth – turned the wrong way, hand up to your face, cord around your neck – you have always done things your own way, with your own confidence and creativity.

You defy the odds and break past cliches in the most beautiful way. You are a girly girl through and through! You love pink and purple, glitter and dresses, unicorns and ponies and fairies and makeup. But you also love getting dirty, monster trucks, bugs and spiders and bats. I love how you combine these stereotypes into new mashups that are unique to you.

I need your energy sometimes, especially now that your big brother has started kindergarten. You’re enthusiastic and imaginative and it inspires me. I never want to disappoint you and I never want you to feel left out or forgotten. We have lots of fun together, you and I. Our special time is just beginning.

Your passion is contagious, too. You care so much about things, and have always carried so much empathy. Songs that are sad or emotional make you cry. You worry about babies and kids you hear in the grocery store. Your stuffed animals, though they seem to be high maintenance, are always in your arms as you comfort and rock them. Even little bugs get your love and attention. You have so much love to give! I hope you always share it freely with those who work to deserve it.

And I couldn’t go on without mentioning how hilarious you are. You can have your shy moments, which is ok of course, but you love attention and you love making people laugh. Already you are so clever and quick-witted, saying the right thing at the right time to make an entire room crack up. Please always use your humor to make a room of people bright.

You remind me so much of your great grandma – my grandmother Margaret, who is so dear to me but who passed away just before you were born. She was the same fiery spirit who was funny and generous and a bit vulgar all at the same time. I wish you could have met her – you two would have been an unstoppable pair! But I truly believe she is never far when you’re around. I hope she’s helping to keep you out of trouble, but I have a feeling she’s the one giving you naughty ideas.

You are always thinking. At dinner one night, you declared that you wanted to be a teacher; you started naming off all of the things you would teach your class. “I will teach them… How to put on their shoes. I will teach them… How to open doors. I will teach them… How to draw a man.” The list went on and on. You were prepared for everything!

As we get a year older – and you get a year closer to going out into the real world – I feel a pull in two different directions. Our world is a beautiful but terrifying place, full of kindred and evil souls alike. Part of me wants to keep you close forever, protecting you and knowing you’re safe because you’re with me. But I know you’re a wild, free spirit, and you’ll want to fly when the time is right.

So I’m charged by God to arm you with all the weapons I can think of: independence, strength, respect, honesty, integrity, curiosity, faith, and more.

I cannot pretend that the state of our world worries me so much more because I am the mother of a little girl. And I’m doing everything I can to make the world a far better place for your future than it’s been for mine. But there will still be things to fix, battles to fight, people to defend, and causes to support.

So your father and I build you up to be the fierce warrior princess we know you can be. We ask you questions so that you observe and learn, we treat you like a big girl because you are, we show you things and help you have experiences that you will remember for the rest of your life. And above all, we want you to know that we will always love you. Nothing you could say or do would ever make us abandon you.

We adore you. We’re wrapped around your finger. And you are our daughter, forever! We love you so very much, our Tiny Berry.

To see the letter I wrote my son when he turned three, click here.

And for my idea on why everyone should write to their kids, click here.