Kids Can Do Chores: Why and How They Should

A hot topic on the internet lately has been the debate of if children should help with chores. I realized with a resounding HELL YES that my kids help with things around the house all the time – as they should! We have a practical, matter-of-fact, real life approach to how kids can help with chores. And now I pass on our system to you. Here’s my opinion – and my advice – on why and how kids can help with chores.

First, Why Should Kids Help with Chores?

To me, the simple answer is: because they live here! Kids helped create the mess of laundry, dishes, etc. because they wear clothes, they eat, and so on. Now you won’t see me shove a duster into a baby’s hand, but I think it makes sense for a child to do safe, age-appropriate things around the house.

Of course, there’s also the obvious fact that kids will one day be grownups and will need to have basic life skills to live independently. This goes not only for the basic washing of clothes and taking out the trash, but other things like cooking meals and paying bills, and maybe even more advanced tasks like changing your own car’s oil!

I don’t mind doing the majority of the domestic chores, but I also don’t want my kids to be at a disadvantage later in life because they don’t know how to do simple things. (Or, even worse, they just expect those things to be done by magic leprechauns. Because that ain’t happening.)

And as a final comment on record: No I did not have children so that they could do all of the housework for me. Do you think I’d need help with the housework if I didn’t have children to mess up the house in the first place?! So internet troll, whoever you are, I laugh in your face. You have absolutely no idea.

The Basics of Chores: Cleaning Up Your Own Mess

Before I break down the different kinds of chores that my kids help with, I wanted to say this as a good starting point. As soon as kids are really “playing”, they can start to grasp the concept of cleaning up. Now that doesn’t mean that a one year old kid is going to pick up their blocks when they’re done, but certainly you can start modeling how “We play with one thing, and then we put it away. We get something else out, and we clean it up when we’re done.”

What sucks is that Mom and Dad will be the ones really cleaning up for a while, but your child will start to understand how and why to clean up after themselves.

As your child gets to be around two years old, they can start to clean up themselves. I’ll warn you though: It’s not necessarily helpful to just tell your child “Okay, time to clean up!” They may be overwhelmed and not really know where to start. So tell them specific things they can do: “Can you put all of the blocks in this box?” “Can you get all of the red cars first?” Breaking down a bigger task into smaller, easily achievable ones is a great way to help your child feel empowered (and for them to still do the work). Bonus: this helps lessen the chance of a meltdown, too!

Chores in the Kitchen

We have phases of kitchen chores depending on if we’re making dinner, getting ready to eat, or done eating.

Making dinner can be as simple or as involved as you’re comfortable with. You can give your child a butter knife and let them help chop veggies; they can aid with things like mixing a salad, pouring ingredients into a bowl, or lining up slices of pepperoni onto pizza dough. Of course, always practice safety and cleanliness!

When getting ready to eat, we do a stock waiter setup for our kids. Our bar sticks out like a peninsula and I just line up things that are safe for the kids to carry and ready to go to the table. They come back and forth taking things to the table off the counter. My kids also know to put their cups in a certain place on the counter if they need a refill.

After a meal, there are two main things we do: we have our kids clean their place at the table (which usually means to put everything, including utensils, on their plate for easy carrying to the kitchen); then they help carry things to where it needs to go. Dirty dishes go next to the sink, trash and recycling in the appropriate cans, and reusable wipes to the wash box.

Chores in the Playroom

This one’s pretty straightforward: clean up your toys when you’re done! We have dogs and a Roomba so the floor has to be clean anytime we leave the house. And like I said, I try to help my kids break down the seemingly impossible task of cleaning up a whole room of toys, so we go methodically in smaller tasks.

But I have a secret weapon, which we’ve planted into our daily routine, that works beautifully. Here’s what I do.

We have family time (usually watching part of a kids’ movie all cuddled up together) after dinner is cleaned up. If my kids have cleaned their room and their playroom, we get to start this time as soon as dishes are done. If they’re not done cleaning up by the time we eat dinner, guess what they get to do afterwards?

Yep. Their screen time is cut into because they didn’t finish cleaning up before we ate.

Now, this requires you to have a fairly set routine. It requires you to give your kids warnings, countdowns, heads-up of how much time they have until dinner is done. And you have to follow through: that means if they don’t do their part, they don’t get the reward. Period. Even if you’re tired and just want to let Netflix babysit for thirty minutes. You have to be persistent!

But for us, it’s great. The way we do the consequence is, if the kids aren’t done cleaning up, then they clean up and Daddy or myself get to choose what we watch. And we pick a cooking show or another boring (still appropriate) show that the kids don’t like. It’s worked like a dream.

Chores with Laundry

This is another pretty basic section. We just have a few different aspects of helping with laundry chores at our house.

Firstly, the most fundamental: put your dirty stuff in the basket. Everyone can do this, even a two year old.

Secondly, we clean up the reusable wipes that I wash after mealtimes. There’s a blue basket on the dryer that the kids drop the used wipes into. (You can find cotton wipes for cheap on Etsy, and we use these instead of napkins and paper towels.)

Thirdly, the kids sort the wipes out of the dryer, laying them and folding them to put back in the kitchen. (They actually love opening the dryer and pulling stuff out.)

Lastly, and more advanced-ly, my kids are now folding their own clothes and putting them away. Yep, so all I do is wash and dry them. Out of the machine, they’re my children’s responsibility. They take up my whole bed laying out stacks of underwear and shirts and pants, and they still need help with things like matching and folding socks, but it’s largely their chore now. And they do great!

Other Chores That My Kids Help With

We have a few other random chores that I thought to tell you about here, before we get into more conceptual stuff like allowance.

The main things here are hygiene, pet care, and plant/yard care.

Regarding pets, my kids help with letting the dogs out/in a few times a day. They also know how to feed our dogs, but I usually do it as our dogs are older and one is grumpy. (I got bitten by a dog as a young child so I’m very wary.) My son also knows how to check on our cat’s food, and he keeps it filled.

The kids also can help with chicken chores, from collecting the eggs to feeding them.

After nap every day, we go into the front yard to water our plants and check the mail, and then into the backyard to water the plants and give the chickens treats. I teach my kids the basics of plant care too, like checking to see if the dirt needs water, and if old blooms should be trimmed. We’ve built all of these chores into our daily routine so it just goes with the flow of our day.

Lastly, when it comes to basic hygiene and cleanliness, we make sure that our kids wipe correctly when using the bathroom. We always wash our hands with soap, shut off the water, and put the towel back. And if we make an accidental mess like spilling water or peeing on the floor, it’s ok – just make sure you tell Mama or Daddy so we can keep everything clean.

What About an Allowance for Chores?

Here’s my opinion on allowance (and money with kids in general): their allowance is for extra things that they want, like app purchases or extra clothes or movie tickets with friends. They will never need to have allowance in order to eat, have running water, or live under my roof.

So since they don’t need cash for any necessities, there isn’t going to be a big push for an allowance. My expectation will remain the same: you live here, you contribute to the mess, so you contribute to the solution.

However… (I can feel the angry responses already), my kids can do EXTRA chores for extra cash. If they want to go above-and-beyond and do something major like dust the whole house, wash the car, or something far beyond “playing their part” with the chore duties, I’m happy to give a few extra bucks. Makes sense, right?

I do like the idea of my kids getting to manage their own money: save, spend, donate, etc. So I do want them to have a bit of cash to play around with. But with our tight budget and our mentality about allowance, we won’t be handing our kids $20 a week just because they’re 15 years old. Nah.

Looking to the Future: Chores for Bigger Kids

Oh man, I could go on and on in this section. I have plans… Yes, big plans… (Did you read that in Igor’s voice? I hope so!)

My children will definitely have more chores as they get older. With great power comes great responsibility, right Spiderman? So there will be one night a week where the kids do dishes after dinner; there will also be one night a week where they get to meal plan and cook dinner!

Other standard “big kid” chores like mowing the yard and doing their own laundry will surely make an appearance at the appropriate time, too.

Other General Suggestions for Chores

I want to make sure my kids know that chores aren’t a punishment, but just a part of being a functioning human. We do them together, while singing or laughing or being silly, but they’ve gotta get done.

Additionally, try to be encouraging when doing chores. Kids will need to learn how to complete each task, just like writing their name or going swimming. So be specific on what needs to be done, break it down step-by-step, practice doing the chore with your child, and model what you expect! In a weird way this is a chance to get quality bonding time with your kids.

I also want to try to cater my kids’ responsibilities to their interests, if possible. While I don’t think anyone is particularly passionate about folding clothes, I know for example that my son loves cooking and baking. So I try to let him help make meals as often as possible. Both of my kids love sorting and organizing things, so I give them duties which allow them to fold cloth wipes or match socks.

And lastly, something for me to remember more than my children when it comes to doing chores: It’s more important that my child help with the household duties – even if they are slow, or they mess it up, or it isn’t done “my way” – than me doing everything. I deserve to have help with the housework because it isn’t 1920 and we all contribute to helping with the upkeep and duties, and my kids deserve to learn these skills because I love and respect them. So while my toddler’s clothes drawers aren’t perfectly organized, it’s cool that they look the way that they do because she did it herself. And that’s more important to me.

Whew! There are all of my suggestions for helping your kids help with chores around the house. I can’t wait to see what you think – so feel free to leave a comment on what you do at home. And as always, thanks for sharing this out and pinning it!