Revelations in Weaning My Last Child: What’s Changed, What Hasn’t, and How I View My Body Now That It’s Mine Again

My last child weaned from breastfeeding a few months ago. It was an incredibly significant experience, like a milestone for both child and mother, and one that you can’t really completely prepare for. There is so much going on physically and emotionally that I wanted to write about it for anyone who is going (or will go) through the same thing. Read on for my revelations in weaning my last child and learn about what’s changed, what hasn’t, and how I view my body now that it’s mine again.

This article is an emotional piece but it’s meant to offer some perspective and support to any breastfeeding mother. Whether you’ve already weaned, or you’re looking to the future, know that I feel what you feel and I’m there for you. Feel free to contact me at themama@RealSimpleMama.com or comment below if there’s anything I can do to help.

Weaning My Last Child: What’s Changed

This is the part of the article that makes me feel the most heartbroken. I honestly think that part of it is because I know in my soul that we aren’t having any more children, so this really is “the last”, and I’m not quite on board with that decision. (I’ve written about that part of my life before, if you’d like to read it here.)

Emotionally, I felt really upset. I went through a period as my daughter nursed less and less where I felt like I had no value to her anymore, and that she wouldn’t ever want Mama again. (This is great if you have a partner because now they’ll get more quality time, more bedtime snuggles, etc. but damn it sucks for the mom who’s weaning.) I know that I’m my child’s caretaker and that I keep her safe and happy, but it really was a blow to my heart and a difficult revelation in weaning my last child. I felt like I had to ask for hugs and kisses because I was going through a “touch” withdrawal. Mama wasn’t wanted anymore because Mama had nothing to offer now that her milk was drying up. Basically, breastfeeding was all that I felt I was good for.

It took a while for me to be convinced that my daughter still wanted to hang around me, still wanted to hug me and be with her Mama. And my partner was a great help, reminding me of my value not only to my family but just as a person in general.

I’m glad that I decided to let my last child breastfeed until she was ready to wean on her own – you can read about that here.

Now I know that my baby girl loves me, and I’m more than just a set of boobs and a milk-making machine. (And in retrospect I know that those last few paragraphs may seem totally ridiculous, and the hormone withdrawals didn’t help, but that’s really how I felt after more than four years breastfeeding my kids.)

A surprising revelation in weaning my last child was that I suddenly had more free time. I am no longer locked down to the couch or the bed. What is happening?! 

And you know what else changes? Your wardrobe! No more breastfeeding bras and tanks (check out my honest comparison here if you want to see which ones I loved). You don’t have to only wear “easy access” shirts and dresses. Show the girls off if you want, and if you want to wear a damn turtleneck, go for it!

I definitely noticed that there was a change in my hormones. This affects different breastfeeding women differently but for me it felt like my hair and nails’ strength were making a comeback (hello biotin, I missed you!). My skin cleared up which was a relief – I’m in my thirties and dealing with acne, for God’s sakes – and other than the emotional burden of weaning and saying goodbye to that whole chapter in my life, I felt like I didn’t have mood swings anymore.

I was grateful, however, that I now had no restrictions on things like medications and alcohol. That may make me sound like a drug addict, but actually the opposite was true: I was scared to even take over-the-counter allergy medicine when I was breastfeeding. It was great to not have to watch the clock when I took a medication, or to be able to have one drink (or five) without regard to when I needed to nurse my daughter next.

A final change which has happened since weaning my last child is that her sleep is different. She had learned to sleep with the boob so that was a huge transition for her; she’s almost four years old now and still doesn’t like to sleep alone. (Luckily, she and her brother share a room – and a bed! – so she’s gradually learning how to fall asleep on her own, but it’s not an imminent issue for our family.)

My sleep is different, too. I have slowly allowed myself to sleep in whichever position I want, without worrying that I’m leaking or that I’ll give myself mastitis. I had to tell my body that it is ok, my child is not sleeping in my bed anymore. It’s beautiful, and certainly nice to have our marital bed back to ourselves (ahem), but it can also be lonely. I miss those early morning cuddles, the sleepy baby breath, knowing that my child was safe and next to me. And that’s why I’ll never turn down a kid who wants to sleep with me for a night or two.

If you’d like to get my ebook on weaning your breastfeeding, bedsharing child, check that out on Amazon here.

And I feel like I’m going to use a baby monitor to watch my kids sleep in their room for… forever?

Weaning My Last Child: What Hasn’t Changed

First and foremost, like I mentioned earlier, is the fact that your child will still love you. You are their mother and such an important part of their lives, and not just because you were providing them with sustenance. Weaning my last child was actually good for our relationship, because it’s proven that we really love each other and spending time with each other outside of just nursing.

My daughter is extremely affectionate, and actually I like to think that she’s still a Mama’s girl. She and I are home during the day together, while Daddy and Big Brother are at work and school. So we are not really missing out on quality time (though if you’re a working mom, you might have to make more of an effort to keep that special time together).

Now my daughter and I find other ways to bond: we homeschool, we go on field trips together, we get special treats, and we cuddle to read books. As she grows, so will our relationship.

Weaning My Last Child: My Relationship with Myself

This is definitely the most difficult section to write. How do I see my own body after weaning my last child?

Firstly, the physical change was pretty damning. A lot of that happens just with getting pregnant, right? You get stretch lines and sagginess and all sorts of other horrors. (And honestly, the change to your breast tissue happens during pregnancy, so whether or not you even breastfeed you’ll probably experience those changes.)

Your nipples will probably always be more prominent and firmer, even when you’re not cold or aroused. This isn’t that big of a real other than I have to make sure I’m always wearing a bra with padding/lining that doesn’t show, since that bothers me personally. And sensitivity will almost certainly change – I feel like I’m not as sensitive there anymore, when makes sense when you think about how much your poor nips had to toughen up with that little ravenous baby at your breast!

My breast tissue did change a lot though, and I’m still coming to terms with that. (And hey, make sure that you’re getting annual breast exams now, and mammograms if you’re of age.) Now scientists are thinking that the breast tissue used for milk-making eats itself after weaning. What?! So cool! (And it may give a clue into how to prevent or treat breast cancer. Read the report here.)

Truly, other than just post-deprivation weight loss, I miss my pre-mama boobs more than anything.

But holy crap am I proud. I’m proud that I persevered through the pain (oh, there was so much pain with my first baby), I persevered through sleeplessness and pumping at work for years and bottles and measuring and supplements and neck cramps and starving all the time and everything else. Through it all, I made it. And my kids will benefit for life. So that’s pretty damn cool.

Please don’t let your breast pumping experience suck like mine did. Get all of my suggestions here.

It was also strange to not have my baby on me all the time; once she was walking and I wasn’t constantly wearing and/or nursing her, I felt cold and alone but also free. I didn’t know what to do with myself now that she wasn’t attached to me in one way or another.

So how do I feel now that I have finished weaning my last child? Proud, tired, grateful, and still adjusting to my new role as a mama of older children.

And I hope that this has given you a real insight into the experience of weaning, and closing the door of breastfeeding. It’s been a beautiful and painful experience – the most difficult of my life, if I’m honest – but I don’t regret a minute. And I hope you don’t either.