I see you. Yes, you. The one who’s looking for names for your backyard chickens. Let’s get right to it – I have a list of over 300 names for chickens! We’ve got clever, delicious, cute, punny, adorable and everything in between. Read on to get your free downloadable printable list, and add your own great ideas in the comments below for chicken name ideas!
Continue readingTag: comment
My children are old enough now that we can really start doing some fun stuff during the Christmas season. Whether it’s driving around armed with pajamas and cocoa to check out Christmas lights, having a specific “right” way to decorate the tree, or watching a certain movie on Christmas Eve, there are tons of traditions to do with your kids during the holiday season! We compiled a grand list: the family Christmas must-do list. Check out all of our ideas, and pick which ones would fit in to your home. And of course, add your own in the comments to share with other families! Continue reading
Good morning my dear readers. Today marks the final component in my “Series of Letters Between Mom Friends” segment with the brilliant and honest Marie of Create Balance. We’ve been going back and forth all month discussing some pretty heavy shit, in regards to parenting a child in our society and our world. Please see her eloquent response below in regards to how to protect my child from the world, and some fantastic parenting advice in general. Continue reading
Last week, you read my letter to Marie, my brilliant insightful friend who has two children like I do. I reached out to her in a desperate effort to see if I was really alone in this scramble to protect my child from the world, and its assholes. While my particular situation involved gender stereotypes, there are many issues our children will inevitably face in this world. Now please enjoy Marie’s response in the second letter of our Letters Between Mom Friends series.
My dear friend, you are very much not alone. Sometimes I think that my worries and fears for my children’s physical safety gets outweighed by my fear for their emotional safety. As fellow teachers, you and I both know how people can surprise us with kindness, but can also break our hearts with their cruel treatment of others. I think this is especially true of children who sometimes try out the cruelness of adults as part of figuring out who they are. Of course, we want to shield our children from this reality as long as we can. I too have tried to mitigate situations to prolong this shield, much as it sounds like you were with the pink butterfly backpack (which, I agree with you, is totally adorable!). I too struggle with the balance – how much do I mitigate the situation, and how much to do I let it run its course so my children can learn to stand up as who they are in this moment?
I still vividly remember sending my son off to kindergarten. My spouse and I weren’t sure how he was going to do. He was a quiet kid in preschool who rarely joined in with the superhero play that filled the preschool classroom. He was far more happy to build trains or do art on his own. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen when he entered a world of children that had different experiences from our own, ranging from rough play with older siblings, to movies we don’t watch because they scare my son, to prejudice we had yet to experience in our cozy co-op preschool.
He shocked us all when, half-way through the year, it was clear that our son was putting himself in charge of things. After school on the playground other children would look to him to think up the game, or we would hear about how he led something at school.
In those years between kindergarten and now – he is seven, and in second grade – I’ve had the privilege of watching him start to figure out social norms. I wish I could tell you it’s been smooth sailing, or that I’ve simply watched him come into his own personality. But the truth is, he is trying to figure out what actions, ideas, and persona fit him, fit in with social norms at school, and fit into our family dynamics.
It’s as messy as it sounds.
One minute he is all in with swordplay, using his hand or a stick to pretend to chop someone to pieces. The next minute he is telling me, in a soft scared voice, that he changed his mind about the gift he wants to give his teacher because he thinks she or the other kids might laugh at him (he wanted to give her Smarties, because she said she liked them at Halloween, but then felt like that looked silly compared to what other kids gave her the week leading up to Christmas).
My son will play-act with blood and death at the playground in ways that make me cringe and want to scream. Then he will tell me that he makes it a point to listen carefully (read: eavesdrop) on all the adult conversations he hears so that he can “understand everything”.
I’m starting to believe that growing up is just a huge mix of contradictions. And, when I’m honest with myself, I think that pretty well describes adulthood too.
So, I feel like we’ve made an interesting transition with parenting our son: We’ve gone from protecting our son from assholes to trying hard to keep him from acting an asshole as he figures out his place in the world. There is plenty that is not working, and that worries me, like his excitement about swordplay or how quick he is to say he doesn’t like someone because he doesn’t like one thing they said to him.
There is also plenty that is working, as he continues to be a strict rule-follower and still loves to play family and build elaborate imaginative scenarios with his sister. And, while he is an asshole sometimes, I can’t remember him ever being outwardly being an asshole because of a prejudice that he learned at school.
I’m not sure about you, but I wasn’t surprised by the wave of #MeToo accusations against men in power. Frankly, to me, the only surprise is that some of those men are actually being held to account. For most of my life, I’ve seen the power of toxic masculinity, and take its toll on men, women, and non-binary folks alike. With my daughter, I feel more confident in modeling and teaching her how to resist a system that would see her as inferior in some ways.
But with my son, I’ve felt the tension between wanting to protect him from a world that may brand him as a “sissy” but also want to remind him not to get sucked into an identity that is centered around holding power over others. He is a white male – it’s pretty darn easy for him to look around and assume that most people in power look like him and that is just the way it is. As he gets older my spouse and I are learning that our job as parents is to provide the occasional shield from the outer world, as well as nurturing nudges in the direction of compassion, kindness, and empathy.
Most days that feels like balancing on a narrow beam – with far too little sleep or patience. Ya know . . . . like most of parenting.
So no, you are certainly not alone. What I want to know is, as our children step out more and more from that shield of family and home, how do we help them navigate that world with their compassion and kindness intact, even if their innocence must dissolve a bit simply because they are growing up? What does that look like when many of the people around us may not have the same values as us, even if while we are all part of the same community?
I’m really looking forward to hearing your thoughts!
Marie
If you missed the first letter in the series, you can read it here.
And please let us know your thoughts in the comments. This dialogue needs to happen between parents, and it needs to be ongoing! I will do everything that I can to help you learn how to protect your child.
Breastfeeding is a bittersweet, emotional journey for both Mama and child. I’m currently nursing my second (and last) child, my daughter who is about two years old. And I’m not weaning her: she will continue to nurse until she lets me know she’s ready to wean. A lot of people may not agree nor understand, but I have damn good reasons why I’m letting my child lead the way. I hope that this article will help moms make the right decision for them and their child when it comes to weaning off breastfeeding. Continue reading
I am not new to teaching, but I am new to homeschooling. My oldest child is four years old and we are working through a kindergarten curriculum together. Now that we have been homeschooling for a few months, I thought I’d share some tips and tricks for homeschooling. These are concepts that I try to keep in mind so that we are both successful and happy throughout our lessons! Here are five things to remember when you homeschool your child. Continue reading
If you breastfeed, it seems like it would be super simple to leave the house. No bottles, no formula, just put the baby to the boob and let them get it straight from the tap! But I know that paranoid feeling of “But what if they get hungry and I have to feed them… what if someone sees?!” Let me give you some tips for nursing in public comfortably and confidently. Continue reading