I absolutely adore breastfeeding. It is the most difficult thing I’ve ever done, and one of the most rewarding. It’s messy and relaxing and invigorating and exhausting, all at the same time. And like most great stuff, it has its quirks.
I’d like to say, breastfeeding is the BEST!… Even when:
- You constantly feel wet. Constantly.
- You’re hungry 30 minutes after you eat. And you ate a LOT.
- Your child learns to pinch, pull, and swat you while nursing.
- Baby also learns to give you the sweetest smile, stroke your boob, and sweetly play with your hair while nursing.
- You camp out for days on the couch because Baby’s going through a growth spurt.
- You learn to use your phone one handed, and you know all the best one-handed games (Crossy Road, anyone?).
- You think you never drink enough water, so you drink more.
- Your body stubbornly holds onto all that baby weight you were promised you’d lose.
- You squeeze your boobs when it’s time for a feed because you forgot what side to use next.
- The damn nursing pillow never sits just right.
- You just barely can’t reach the remote without waking Baby.
- Your wardrobe revolves around “how easy is it for me to get my boob out?”
- You imagine the most badass comeback to say to anyone who dares you to cover up in public.
- You plan your life around Baby’s next feed.
- You drop part of your snack on Baby’s head, look around quickly to see if anyone noticed, and then eat it. Off their head.
Tiny and I nursing at the beach!
- You’ve used Baby as a phone stand.
- There’s one breastfeeding position that either weirds you out, just doesn’t make sense, or you absolutely hate.
- You have to make sure the girls are in their shirt before you leave the house, you’re so used to leaving them out at home.
- You freak out when you see orange breastmilk, then realize you’d had a sweet potato for lunch.
- You actually kind of cherish the nursing sessions in the middle of the night: you and Baby are both half asleep, the room is cool and dark, and you feel like the only two people in the universe.
- You know exactly how much 5 ounces is.
- You want to slap the person who first said “don’t cry over spilled milk” (who was probably a guy anyway).
- You’re really tempted to taste your milk… Just to see… Wait, is that weird?
- You had to learn how to breastfeed – and so did your newborn.
- You’ve quite possibly named your boobs, and you feel pride and respect towards them.
- Pinterest has opened your mind to the world of breastmilk soap, Popsicles, smoothies, and lotion.
- You totally would have been the village wet nurse/perpetual milk bag lady in another life.
- You secretly want a breastfeeding photo shoot in the woods.
- Your kid makes funny noises while nursing.
- THE BRELFIE, Y’ALL.
- People told you you’d quit, or didn’t support you as you tried to breastfeed.
- You love that moment of quiet you get when you have to go nurse your baby – it is the best excuse to leave the room, no questions asked.
- You feel weird as a working mom when you leave the house without your pump.
- You have nursed in the funniest places: in a dressing room, at the park, sitting in the glider on display in the Target baby section…
- You may or may not have sat next to your baby in the car, dangling your boob over them so that they would calm down, while your husband drives the car. Hint: you have.
Whether you’re breastfeeding now, or have in the past, there’s no denying that breastfeeding has its moments. Hopefully you’re able to stop when you and Baby agree it’s best; if you had to stop before you were ready, or you weren’t able to much at all, take comfort in knowing that EVERY DROP of that liquid gold is shaping your child for a lifetime! Let’s celebrate feeding our kids and laugh at the wonderful ridiculousness that is our boobs.
What is your favorite quirk about breastfeeding?
This is a hilarious list! Especially the last bullet! I feel like I’ve learned so much… Orange milk?? That would’ve freaked me out.
All true! Even though it is tough, I love it!