Watching your child start school is so beautiful. And so stressful. And so terrifying. My oldest child is going into first grade this year, and I have one more who will head to kindergarten in 2020. Here are all of my suggestions for how to survive the first week of kindergarten, both from the perspective of the child and from a mother’s heart.
My son was a bit apprehensive to start public school since we couldn’t afford a preschool program, though we had a great experience homeschooling and you can read about that here. He loves his campus now and is so excited to go back!
What I have for you here are a few things to remember so that you and your child can survive the first week of kindergarten. I’d love to get your thoughts at the end, and please remember that a lot of our experiences are individual and will vary significantly from child to child. I appreciate you!
This is how we spent the summer preparing for kindergarten.
Kids are in different places socially and developmentally. And that’s totally ok. Your child may not be tying their own shoes yet, or still may be a bit scared to ride the bus or sit with other kids at lunch. Let’s give our kids grace and let them come into these things on their own. And on that note…
Don’t compare your child to others. No one likes to hear that someone else was able to achieve a milestone sooner than you were, or that they did something better or faster. It’s the same with our babies – it won’t really matter in the long run, and that kind of negative peer pressure isn’t the way you want to motivate your child. So shut that noise down, and just help your child progress and achieve in their own way. That’s the most beautiful way to do it, anyway!
If you’d like to see my birthday letter to my son when he turned five, right before he started kindergarten, you can read that here.
Find a way to communicate with the teacher(s). Teachers and specialists sure as hell aren’t in that profession for the easy money – trust me, my husband and I are educators by trade. We do it for the human connection, for the beauty of watching a soul blossom, for being “the one” to help a child who had no one. And your teacher wants to know all about you and your child, I promise! Look to see the best way that your teacher can communicate with you, whether it be via email or something more like Class Dojo or Seesaw. You’re in this for a year together, so get to know each other and work as a team for the benefit of your child.
… But give them some grace, too. Please. Your child matters. They always will. But so do all the other kids in all the other classes. Your teacher should accommodate any legally binding document like a 504 for sure, but they can’t always place your child wherever you want or let your child get what they want. Remember that while your focus is on your own kid, teachers don’t get it that easy. They have 20 or more sets of parents with requests and texts and changes. So please support your teacher, keep a sense of perspective, and give them some grace (and a gift card every now and then). I promise that most teachers will adore your chid and do what’s best for them.
This is the first day of kindergarten from a mama’s perspective. Short, sweet, and a total mess.
Prepare for a behavior regression at home. Have you ever sat in a meeting all day, wanting to scream at the stupidity of it all, and then rip your bra off (and probably pour a drink) as soon as you get home? You finally got a chance to let your hair down after a trying day, and your behavior changes from what it was at the office. So it will be with your child. They’ll be working so hard to “be good” and “listen” and do the right thing all day, that they’ll be mentally and emotionally exhausted when they get home. It’s sort of a screwed up compliment, because they feel safest and most comfortable around you. Think of it like this: “My teacher may get mad if I squirm or yell or run around, but I know my parents will love me anyway. I know I can be myself at home; I’m still learning how I can be myself at school.” It’ll be a challenge, but keep this in mind if you experience some sort of a regression in those first few weeks.
Don’t ever be afraid to speak to the school counselor or your child’s doctor if you feel anything is scary, dangerous, or abnormal. They’re an advocate for your child, and they can help.
Set a conservative routine around food and sleep, and be as consistent as you can. I can’t imagine all the other crap you’re juggling, from other kids to work to sports and activities. But remember that your kindergartener is going to be completely worn out and going through a transitional time. I try to base our schedule around sleep first, so that means set a conservative bedtime and wake time. Then try to plan everything around that. And along with that…
Don’t overplan the first few weeks. This goes for the family’s evenings and weekends, for the sake and sanity of your little one. Remember that even though they seem like such a big kid, your kindergartener is still quite young. School will wear them out, and an overtired kid is a time bomb. But to balance it out…
It’s ok to have something fun at pickup. My child is usually starving when I pick him up from school, especially during the first week of kindergarten, so I have a fun snack packed for him, or we get something he likes on the way home. I don’t make it a big exhaustive deal, but it’s something for him to look forward to. And then he has some food in his tummy so that he can do his work once we get home. No one wants to be hangry!
Get into a consistent daily routine for homework, backpack cleaning, and lunch packing. For us, that’s as soon as we walk in the door and take off shoes and wash hands. (And maybe a quick after-school poop from the kid.) We clean out the backpack and sign/file any important papers; we get lunch and snack ready for the next day; and we sit down to do homework. A small snack or some music is a great way to help your child sit down and knock out those school responsibilities so that there’s still plenty of playtime!
If you’re like me and go a bit insane in that car pick-up lane, get all my ideas for how to regain sanity while sitting there.
Have a homework/activity space for your child. It’s totally ok to have a spot at the dinner table for worksheets and coloring. But let them have a little zone that’s “theirs” when it comes time to do schoolwork. You can set this up to help survive the first week of kindergarten, but depending on the campus/district your child may not have a lot of at-home work to do at first (or at all).
Make a box or bin or file to keep all of your child’s important papers. It can be an old shoebox, an Amazon box, or something much more creative. But we have a shelf in the hall closet for our son to put any papers and assignments that were precious to him. At the end of the year he’ll decorate a sign with his name and grade, tape up the box and all its contents, and we’ll store it for when he graduates!
No room for hundreds of papers? Let your kid pick some special assignments and scan them. They won’t take up physical space but will live forever on your computer – desktop background, anyone?
Let your kid relax. Like I mentioned with the regression, your child may just be too damn tired to do much in the evenings. It’s ok, don’t fight it. They’ll get accustomed to everything eventually, so help them out with any daily responsibilities and give them some grace too.
Not everything has to be your favorite. From the kid’s perspective, this means that you sometimes will do activities you don’t like; you’ll sit next to people who aren’t your friends; you have to wait in line. And for us parents, that means things like PTA smalltalk and signing that thousandth permission slip. Take a deep breath, think about how you can build your character in this moment, and get it done. This is not only how you all survive the first week of kindergarten, but it’s good advice for life.
Take a ton of pictures! We did pictures at home with the backpack, we did a video of walking into the school, and about a thousand photos in between. Allow yourself to be “that” parent, and allow yourself to be in the photos too. Remember the day and don’t be forgotten among it.
I hope that you and your children have a beautiful first day of kindergarten! It’s ok to take pictures, it’s ok to cry, it’s ok to hug a bit too long.
What would you add to this list of how to survive the first week of kindergarten?
I'd love to hear from you!