Happy fifth birthday to my son! He is such a special human being, a calm considerate gift from God. This year is also significant because my baby, my oldest child, my firstborn, is going to kindergarten in the fall. It’s a strange phase that we’re in, because in some ways my son is so obviously a big boy. But in other ways, he reminds me that he is still so little. And as his mother, I’m going through all of these “firsts” for the first time, too. I hope that you enjoy a letter to my son on his fifth birthday.
This letter to my son is going in his journal, which I have been writing in since I found out that I was pregnant with him! I keep these notebooks for each of my kids and you can find out more here. I love that this letter to my son – and other letters you can see at the end of this article – are being used by parents to write to their own kids!
Dear Lovebug,
Happy birthday my darling! I am so very proud of you. What an exciting time for our family, with you getting ready to go to kindergarten! This Mama’s heart is full of love and pride and a bit of fear, too.
Every year as it gets closer to your birthday, I take time to reminisce about the weeks before you were born. So much has changed about me and about my view of the world, since I became your mother. Having you was literally life-changing; it was like when you took your first breath, I took my first one, too.
These five years have given me more joy, more heartache, more pride, more hope, more fear, and more purpose than I could ever have imagined.
And you’ve grown so much in these five years, too!
It amazes me how much you can do, how tall you are, how insightful and observant and brilliant. Not only can you write your full name and recite things like the days of the week, months of the year, and your address; but you also are learning more advanced concepts like counting to 100; hell, you’re even understanding basic addition!
There is so much that you are capable of already. You help so much around the house, with your little sister, with the pets. You love to cook and learn about science. And of course you’re a bug expert!
And you have so much love and awe for the world. You saw Venus and Jupiter in the night sky and were transfixed; oceans and tides and jellyfish amaze you; the simple beauties of our earth are not lost on you, my dear.
And what about books?! You absolutely love to read and be read to. Writing and drawing also take up a lot of your time, creating monsters and multicolored hearts and pooping cats.
But there are lots of times when I am reminded that my big kid is still such a little one in so many ways. You go from this brave, independent, curious school-going “big kid” to a quiet, cautious child who needs their Mama.
It’s a bit misleading and it takes me a minute to remember that you are only five years old now. Because you’re so intelligent and articulate and talented, I take your youngness for granted.
So in those times, where I’ve forgotten that you are still so very young and small, I take a step back. I remind myself to be patient with you and give you some grace. Because it’s ok to still want someone to stay with you until you fall asleep; it’s ok to be afraid (hell, I’m an adult and I feel more terrified of things now than I ever was!); it’s ok to hesitate and consider and analyze and be sure.
Never be afraid to ask for a hug, or a minute of quiet time, or some kind words of affirmation. I promise to never push you to grow up or be a man or get over it. You will always be my baby, and you will never be too old for love or affection or just a hug with no questions asked.
I also promise to try to teach you, instead of just control you. I want you to understand empathy and compassion and consideration, which you won’t learn if I just yell at you. You are worthy of my time, and the time it takes to sit you down and explain something.
Finally, I want you to be grounded. When life throws change or surprise or the unexpected at you, I want you to be able to go “home” in every sense of the word. Go home in your mind and in your heart to find inner peace; go home with your moral compass to where you can find the road of truth and “the right thing to do”; and, of course, go home to Daddy and I. Because nothing you can ever do or say will close our doors to you.
So know that as this next year brings so many changes and so many firsts to our family, you are never alone. We are right here by you, our precious gift from God. And we always will be!
I love you more than life, my baby. More than the sun and the moon, more than the sea and the sky; more than all the plants, all the animals, all the people, and al the things on this earth!
Your number one fan always,
Mama
I hope that you enjoyed this special letter to my son. I’m proud to have this as a yearly tradition, and it helps me remain positive and encouraging (since birthdays are just as much for the parents as they are for the kids.)
And if you’d like to see the letter to my son when he turned three and four years old, check out those links.
I'd love to hear from you!