Potty Training Your Daughter – A Whole New Adventure

When I potty trained my son, it was certainly a trial-and-error. We had apps and potties and told and all kinds of stuff. But it’s a whole other story with my daughter. She’s my last kid and she’s brilliant, stubborn, and feisty. So how did we potty train this little rebel? And what’s it like to potty train a girl? Read on for our experiences and recommendations, adventures in potty training your daughter!

I do have affiliate links in this article. I only recommend things which have helped our family, so enjoy!

A Bit of Background

My daughter was about 2.25 when we first started trying to potty train her. In a way, it would be easy because she had a big brother to imitate. We also went through cloth diapers so she’d see me flushing her poop in the potty.

After trying everything under the sun when potty training my son, I knew that I didn’t want to bother fighting a kid who wasn’t totally ready. So we had started the dialogue, gotten the little practice potty back out, and found some tiny panties. But I was determined to not push the issue: like you can read about in the article above, the fight is not worth it if your kid is not super motivated. It’ll just be messy and stressful for you both.

What Didn’t Work for Potty Training Your Daughter

I have a few suggestions on what not to do when it comes to potty training. I’m putting this section first just to warn you, and spare you time and money.

With my son, we fought battles for days on end over potty timers, incentives, all that jazz. And let me tell you: IT IS NOT WORTH IT. To me, there’s no benefit to training a kid earlier if it means you’re miserable (and it also means more work for you). I would personally rather wait until my kid is showing signs that they’re ready and motivated, before I fight them. Because potty training will be messy and exhausting and just plain miserable for you if your kid isn’t interested.

We also bought all. Of. The. Potties. And they either scared my kid or made him act silly or just didn’t help with potty training at all. So now we use potty seats like this that just lay on top of your existing toilet seat, and they work great (plus they’re a hell of a lot easier to use – no dumping out little bedpans all the time, ew). We have one in each bathroom since we have two kids who sometimes like to poop at the same time, and there’s one at Grandma’s house, too.

And when we’re out and about, I keep this folding travel potty seat in its bag in my purse. My five year old still needs it!

Additionally, I felt that using those aforementioned “timer apps” also wasn’t helpful. I felt like we had no time to do anything except watch the clock, and my kids don’t need to pee that often even though they drink a lot of water. If you pay attention to their body’s schedule, you may find that it’s pretty predictable, or that you can just try once an hour or so.

Please please never shame your kid, or compare them to another child (even their own sibling). Every kid is different; it doesn’t make them a better kid, or someone a better parent, if potty training just clicked at an earlier age. Shame has no place in parenting.

Finally, I would personally not buy pull-ups unless you really feel you need to. Our first pediatrician told us “They’re just expensive diapers” and she’s absolutely right. I have some recommendations coming up of better options, but you can either just use a diaper or panties with a diaper on top, or a pantyliner like the Dry Like Me. Plus, pull-ups feel like diapers to a child, so I don’t think they’d even distinguish a new “Don’t pee or poop in this” mentality with them anyway.

What to Say When Potty Training Your Daughter

I found a few phrases really helped when potty training. This makes sure that your child develops healthy habits, like not trying to pee too fast or not straining.

“Relax your tummy” encourages your child to not try to push or strain or tighten anything. You can also distract your child and make them relax by running your fingers up and down their legs, tickling their toes, or touching the top of their head. 

“Pat pat pat” is not something particularly innovative but it encourages your child to wipe gently, and really pay attention to what they’re doing. Chances are your daughter either wipes really hard, or doesn’t get dry. Again, help your child be aware of their own body.

Additionally, please please please teach your child the proper names for their body parts. We started this when we would change our son’s diaper, and we would tell him what his anatomy was called and that it was his private space; no one should take off his clothes there or touch him there (I know doc appointments and diaper changes are exceptions, so explain that appropriately). Get more suggestions for how to talk to your child about that kind of stuff here.

And enjoy this catchy song we found on YouTube – my daughter loved it and referenced it all the time! This mom did a fantastic job and her child is so adorable!

How to Encourage When Potty Training Your Daughter

There are hundreds of ways to motivate or bribe your kid to use the potty. Here’s what worked for us:

• Initially, a sticker chart was amazing. Every time she even tried, she got to put a sticker on her chart. I’d suggest getting a “level one” reward for attempting, and a “level two” treat like an M&M for actually going in the potty.
• My daughter got a few gummy bears or candy hearts if she made it from wake-up to lunch time without an accident or a wet diaper.
• She was also able to get a treat if she made it from after lunch/nap to dinner. (We chose to do it right after dinner to avoid giving sugar right before bed.)

You could also potentially give your child a bit of screen time, save up for a new toy, or something else. You know your kid and what works for them!

What’s Different When Potty Training Your Daughter

The big thing I wanted to mention here is about how to teach your daughter to wipe herself. Without getting too graphic, make sure that she completely dries herself but doesn’t wipe up – that can bring fecal matter up into her vagina which is not good. So we would practice, clothes on, so she could get an idea of where her vagina starts and ends. And then, of course, you use either a wet wipe or another bunch of toilet paper if you’ve pooped, and only wipe up.

Always having to sit down is easy! And pulling up and down panties is easy! So if you can successfully get your child to wipe themselves and practice good hygiene, you’re good to go!

Thanks for sharing this out, pinning it, and adding your own suggestions in the comments!

And if you want to read about our experience potty training our firstborn, check it out here.