How We Treat Meals With Kids At Our House

Mealtime with kids can be fun, or it can be hell. You have a plethora of issues to deal with, from picky eaters to messes. Your kids gotta eat, and you’d like them to grow up somewhat nourished, but sometimes mealtime is not the place for a battle. We have had great luck with some strategies regarding food and our children, and I’m happy to share them with you! Here’s an in-depth, honest look at how we treat meals with kids at our house!

This post goes hand-in-hand with all of my baby led weaning (BLW) content, which you can find here. And look for the Real Simple Motherhood ebook on BLW here, coming soon!

The emphasis here, as with most of the concepts on RSM, is about balance and education. Balance means we’re keeping an eye on the big picture here and not stressing about each individual moment; education means we’re doing more than putting out fires: we’re teaching our children how to make healthy habits their own for the rest of their lives. Meals with kids can be more fun, more educational, and more enjoyable for everyone involved – I promise!

Balance

When it comes to feeding our kids, we probably worry about how much they’re eating, and of what. “My kids don’t eat enough vegetables” or “How will my child grow a healthy body if they live off of mac and cheese?” are common concerns for lots of us! But don’t worry, I have some ideas to help.

My kids eat breakfast about 8:15am; they get a morning snack about 10am (usually out and about so it’s something non-messy and carb-y like pretzels or crackers with peanut butter); we eat lunch at about noon; we have a healthy afternoon snack around 3pm; and then family dinner at 6:30 or so.

Before bedtime at 8pm, I offer my kids half a banana or some toast with peanut butter if they’re still hungry (unless they still need to eat some of their dinner, in which case I offer that).

They have water available at all times, but we rarely give them juice or milk.

A pediatrician once told me not to freak out about what your child eats at every meal, but rather what they eat over a week long period. While one day may not look perfectly balanced (there’s that word again), I bet the situation looks a lot less daunting if you zoom out a bit.

Giving your child a multivitamin is another great idea. We get the off-brand chewable and follow the serving size based on age and weight. If nothing else, this multivitamin will help fill in the gaps if your child is sick or goes into a picky phase. Just avoid the gummy ones, as those are one of the worst things for your kids’ teeth!

You can “hide” healthy foods in things like cornbread or smoothies, but I don’t like to do that too much. I’ll definitely add some spinach or carrots to a smoothie as an extra boost, but I don’t want to trick my kids if I can help it. To me, they need to make healthy choices on their own, and learn how to do so consciously. (As with everything of course, make sure you’re taking the advice of your pediatrician as they’re the expert on your child’s health.) This isn’t really as doable with young children, but in my experience and observation a child aged four or older is hopefully being more adventurous and trying more foods.

Lastly, I’ll say that while I don’t ever make my child clean their plate, I don’t just offer them whatever they want whenever they want, either. I never want my child to starve – I don’t feel that it’s an appropriate “lesson learned” moment – but if they don’t eat a good meal, I’ll save it and offer it later. So they can continue to graze as they want, but it’s not “I don’t want to eat this, I’d rather have something else.” I’ll go more into this in the next section.

If you’d like to see my honest review about our high chair, you can check that out here. It really does make meals with kids a lot easier!

You can also see my reviews for cloth wipes (since we don’t use paper napkins) and my master list of the best BLW gear!

Education

This is the main part of this article. Here I’ll explain how we handle meals with kids and what we teach our kids, both in word and in example, to help them make healthy mealtime choices for life.

“You don’t have to eat it” is probably one of the most beautiful parenting mantras ever spoken. It reminds us as parents that we don’t need to force-feed our kids, and it lets your child off the hook so that they can listen to their own body. I’ll remind you that toddlers are wired to be leery of lots of brightly colored foods (think about when we were nomadic sapiens in the wilderness), and if you make them eat when their body is saying “No” then you’re saying “I know your body more than you do, and I’m going to overrule what your body is telling you.” As a side note, I also don’t want to do this because I’m not a nutritionist and I don’t precisely measure everything my kid eats, and I don’t want them to develop eating disorders later, whether that means overeating or binging or emotional eating.

Continuing with that same theme of “educating your child to make healthy decisions for life”, we don’t give a treat or a special food based on if our kid eats something. The classic example is “If you clean your plate, you can have dessert.” Again, you’re not letting your child listen to their body. You’re dictating – without being able to feel what they feel – how much they need to eat, and it’s turned into a “double or nothing” mentality. (If they eat all of something, you then give them something more…) When you stop to analyze, it doesn’t make much sense. I never want my kids to see a plate full of food and think that they have to eat it all. (I personally have some unhealthy food habits and I’m not putting that burden on my own children!)

We certainly like to have treats around here! – we make our own popcorn, share some cookies, or have bananas topped with whipped cream. But my husband and I decide before the meal “Yes we’re having this” or “No we’re not.” It has nothing to do with how much the kids eat. So have something special if you want, but don’t let it be based on how much your kid consumes. They’re not a dog, so don’t reward them with food.

Again, look back over a full week to see what your child is consuming.

Where is the protein? Why do we eat broccoli? Why can’t we eat any more cheese right now? I love teaching my kids about the food groups, and aspects of healthy eating. We have our kids identify what the protein(s) are on their plate, and they can tell you about the food groups throughout what they’re eating. My kids know they can’t eat a ton of cheese because it’s too much dairy and it will constipate them; they know if they don’t eat some protein right now, they’ll be hungry really soon. (And they also know that when they ask for something to eat in 30 minutes, I’ll hand them their uneaten protein with a smile on my face.) See, meals with kids can be fun and educational!

I also like to teach my children about random cool foodie things, like how leafy greens are high in Vitamin K (and that Vitamin K is for blood clotting, and what that means in kid-friendly detail). My kids are fascinated and I love when they recall that information at another meal!

In the mornings during the week, we do a quick homeschool lesson while we eat our breakfast. This is usually where we do our daily calendar routine, and look over the lesson and worksheet for that day. So even if we aren’t doing something educational that’s directly related to nutrition, our meals with kids are a chance for us to discuss and learn together. No screens allowed!

Finally, let your kids help choose meals and make meals. We meal plan on Sundays and grocery shop on Tuesdays, so as the weekend winds down I’m brainstorming for the next week. Our kids love to make their own tacos and tostadas, or decorate their own pizzas on Fridays. They contribute ingredients when we make smoothies for an afternoon snack, and they know how to prepare the basics like our homemade oatmeal. I’m not saying let your child operate the oven or chop veggies, but kids will be more interested in their food if they had a say in it – and especially if they helped make it!

You can also see my article about how I meal plan here, and you can make adjustments for your own meals with kids too!

The way we treat meals with kids may seem crazy, but to me it makes total sense. I’m empowering my kids to listen to their body – one of the main life lessons I want them to learn – and to have the information they need to make good choices even when I’m not around. My philosophy is preparing them to grow up healthy, aware, and informed. And my goal is for my kids to make great balanced choices whether they’re in the lunch room, off at college, or sitting with their own family one day. And now you know, too!

Let me know what you think in the comments, and thanks as always for pinning and sharing!