For my daughter’s first birthday, I thought to include a special entry into my journal for her, like a love letter. Read on to see it in its entirety…
From the moment I first saw your face, I adored you. You came into this world with a triumphant yell, opened your eyes and looked right into my heart. We all realized immediately that you were the personification of Shakespeare’s quote, “though she be but little, she is fierce.”
Ever since I found out that I was pregnant again, I had a feeling that you were a girl. I have never been particularly girly, and I had a small crisis wondering how I would keep you from wanting everything in pink, but then I had a revelation: you would only be exposed to the things that I showed you, and you would grow into your own. So I chose to not smother you in glitter and frills, and I’ll continue to guide you to make your own choices, whether that be ballet or baseball. Or both.
You and your brother had special moments together before you were even born, interacting with each other through the womb. You were such an active baby! Strong and sure, you always let me know “Mama, I’m doing just fine in here!”
Early on, I picked the song “You Are My Sunshine” to be your theme. I would sing or hum it to you regularly. I do so now, and I wonder if you remember hearing it from the other side.
As I prepared for birth, I would visualize a deep, dark purple flower opening. I decided that would be your power color. And so it is now, too.
We were pretty undecided on your first name until the last minute, but your middle name was decided early on in the pregnancy. I gave you my maternal grandmother’s maiden name. She was one of five sisters, who all got married and changed their name, and I wanted to help that family name live on. And so it does, through you.
It’s funny how much you remind me of my grandmother. You are both tiny, loud, and fiery. You love with your whole heart and you don’t take crap from nobody! Your expressions look just like hers sometimes and it brings me happiness.
You are so stubborn and determined, it’s ridiculous sometimes. I admit that you drive me slightly insane when you don’t listen or when you mimic something (like opening a cabinet) after seeing it just once. You’re too smart for your own good!
You already pack such a personality. I’ve loved watching you grow into someone who is so animated, so quick-witted, so bright-eyed and mischievous. You keep me on my toes, and make me smile every day.
A part of me feels paralyzed by the state of our world. What did I bring you into existence for? Women are still fighting for equality, for safety and security, for confidence and acceptance. I’m terrified of someone trying to hurt you one day, stealing your innocence or your self-worth. I’ll do my damn best to build you up, to teach you to respect yourself and defend yourself.
And then I think that you are exactly what the world needs. My kickass daughter, who will stumble and never fall; who will not be belittled or bullied by anyone; who loves being seen as the underdog because it makes her triumph that much more meaningful. So then I smile and laugh a bit to myself.
I realize that if anyone can teach our world a lesson, come in and fight the good fight, scare away the evil and nurture the good, it’s you my baby.
So I will protect and provide for you the best ways that I can. I’ll pick your chin back up when you dare lower your head, and I’ll wipe away any frustrated tears. I’m preparing you for a world which is painfully beautiful and dangerous. But the reality is, nothing could prepare the world for you.
My wild, brilliant daughter.
Happy birthday, Tiny. I love you so incredibly.
I hope that this love letter to my little girl has helped inspire you to write to your kids too! I’ve written to my kids since before they were born, and it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. You can read more about this passion of mine here.